2009

I did it! During this time last year I made myself a resolution for 2009. Many might think it's a farely easy new year's resolution but I challenge you to live it. After being diagnosed with a deadly disease I resoluted to living my life to the fullest. And although I didn't jump out of an airplane or travel to Europe, the one thing I did do was make every single moment as meaningful as I could live it. I was there, present in the moments. Every tear cried, every smile to a random stranger, every word spoken, every laugh laughed with friends, every morning while eating breakfast with the kids...was meaningful.

I can't tell you what a year it's been. What a blessing it is to live like this. No more worrying about the coming years, or planning for this or that. I lived in the present. I hugged my kids and smelled their bodies next to mine. I lived like I was dying. I took in every single blessing and enjoyed it. When the sun rose, I smiled. And when the moon came up to greet the night sky, I smiled at the day I had had. I tucked in my little ones to bed and said many prayers with them. I kissed their foreheads with love and proclaimed many blessings to their lives, knowing fully that any day could be my last. I kissed my husband passionately and I smiled at his wonderful character. I lifted him up with laughter and comforted him with a soft touch of tenderness.
Friends and family have come forward and expressed such love to me that is trully indescribable. God has brought people in my life that have been like angels to me. During a time of much fear and uncertainty, the one thing that I did have to hold on to was my God. He showed me in so many ways this past year that He is here with me. So many confirmations have come to my life that basically kept me going and kept me smiling.

My doctor asked me if I suffered from depression after my diagnosis and my answer was a smile. Because at that moment I saw the many faces of loved ones that keep me going. I smiled because at that moment I saw the embrace that God has given me. No depression for me. Just love and hope.

So this 2010, I will continue my year of meaningful times. And even though I might just be doing ordinary things...every single moment counts in my life. Every single moment is important in my life and has been registered in the memory cabinet of my brain's library.

"The LORD knows the days of the upright, And their inheritance shall be forever." Psalm 37:18

Living the Dash

Recently I read a book that challenged me to think about what I'd do if I only had one month to live. Honestly, the book was very insightful and for many probably very thought-provoking. At the end of my read I couldn't help but feel like I really didn't need to read a book to find out what I need to do with my life if I found out I was going to die soon. Everything in the book, I'm already doing. Since being diagnosed with Pulmonary Hypertension, I've completely changed my way of living. I don't want to waste any more time. I want to live like I'm dying. Plain and simple. And like the book mentions, I'm living the dash. The dash that's between the two years of my life...1978 - ?.

I'm enjoying the little things. I'm seeing things from a different perspective. I'm actually living a very fulfilling life. The 'someday syndrome' like the books talks about is very present in my life, because I'm trying VERY hard NOT to say 'someday'. I'm trying to do everything I want to do and make my life as meaningful as possible. There are many that I love, so I'm loving them passionately. There are many dreams I've had, so I'm thinking on how I can make them come true. Frankly, we don't know how much time we have on this earth. YOu never know when your day will come. I've started a journal to my kids, I've began to make albums with all our pictures. I'm getting to know my family better and say things I normally wouldn't have. I'm speaking more boldly, I'm living a selfless life. I'm putting myself in others' shoes. I'm making eye contact with strangers. I'm speaking words of wisdom. I'm reading bedtime stories to my kids at night. I'm telling people how much they mean to me. I'm saying sorry. And although I probably won't die a martyr's death like so many hence past. I want to leave a legacy...so I'm living. I'm really living.

"Show me, Oh Lord, my life's end and the number of my days; Let me know how fleeting is my life." Psalm 39:4

"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

Living a Sacrifice

Father, may my flesh and bones become a living sacrifice for you.
May I be able to see only what you want me to view.
May I be able to speak only what you want me to say
and make Your priorities my goals of everyday.

Father, may Your glorious feet be the ones walking for me
through a rough and fogged up path so that I may be able to see.
May Your heart be the one giving my body fruit
the fruit that it needs to go on and follow your route.

Treat me like a puppeteer treats his dolls,
giving them life never letting them fall.
Using them to entertain,
a world with nothing to lose and everything to gain.

-Liz Blanco, 1999

My Bucket List

I know that my hubby isn't too fond of me talking about death...but really I'm talking about LIFE. There's so much I want to do before I 'kick the bucket' that I've decided to make a 'Bucket List'. So here it is for all of you bloggers to enjoy. Haha! Although, much of the items on my Bucket List are more like dreams because they'd require lots of $$$.

1. Experience a 'White Christmas'.

2. Take my mom on a trip to Italy.

3. Take my kids to a beautiful Hawaiian beach.

4. Have a beautiful all-out bash party, the wedding I never had.

5. Buy a Disney annual pass for my kids and us to enjoy. -----Check!

6. Buy a house. ----Check! (Although we sold it. Does that still count?)

7. Own a business. ---Check!

8. Tell everyone that I care for I love them. ----Check!

9. Enjoy dinner and wine tasting in the Napa Valley.

10. Enjoy a spa day with Hector. -------Check!

11. Go to a Broadway Show in New York City.

12. Have a Character Luncheon at Disneyland with my kids.

13. Michael Buble concert!!!!!

14. Date night with Hector at the Piano Bar at the Bel Air Hotel in Beverly Hills.

15. Washington D.C. trip. -------Check! :)

16. Visit Niagra Falls, Yosemite, Australia's Great Barrier Reef, Israel.

17. Historical castles of the Middle Ages in Germany, Spain, England.

18. Open up a disabilities Center in Mexico for needy disabled children.

19. Visit Jamaica. -------Check!

20. Have a Slumber Party with my lady cousins! YAY!

21. Have an awesome time at Church with all the closest people in my life...I want to see hands in the air and smiles on their faces. :D

22. Write an Inspirational Diary (Life As Lizzy) AND get it published.

........Mind you, my list is a working progress and items will just randomly appear as I think of more stuff to do with my life. :)

...to live is Christ and to die is Gain.

"...the Lord upholds the righteous, The Lord knows the days of the upright, And their inheritance shall be forever." Psalm 37:17-18

I woke up that day and immediately dove into your Word. I needed to know what I was going to say. I needed quidance. I asked for prayer requests from all my church friends and not to my surprise, I recieved many words of encouragement. One after another, I recieved emails and texts from people from all over, telling me they were praying. The power of prayer held a bond that day so strong I could feel it. Finally the time came, I left my home in route to pick up my parents first. We drove toward Pacoima and finally made it to her home in Alreta, CA. It was a long drive but well worth it.

"...I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20

When I walked into her bedroom there she was...Noemi. Like an aunt to me. She is so much more special and has such a great place in my heart. Conversation was appropriate. Then after about half and hour my parents began saying their goodbyes. I finally took a deep breath and asked God to speak through me. I rose and asked if it was okay to pray. Everyone was in agreement and almost leeped at the chance. They all held hands as she drew me more near to her. I began to pray...

"Lord, first of all, I want to thank you for being here with us. I want to thank you for this life that I pray for today. Lord, I want to thank You for sending Your only son to die for us. Jesus, when you were there at that cross, bleeding and hurting, you closed your eyes and saw a face. Jesus you saw the face of so many and one of those was the face of N. You came here to this earth and lived humiliation. You lived criticism and hate and reproach. But you did it for us, for N. You died so that she may live. She has lived such an important life for so many, and her life is such a great testimony to Your love. The way she has loved and laughed and raised her two children is a testimony that I know You will reward. Everywhere N went she brought such joy to those around her. She has blessed us all with her lovingkindness. Lord, You have a wonderful crown of glory for N and Your word says that "to live is Christ and to die is gain". She has a special place in heaven waiting for her. Lord I ask for blessings for her grown children. She knows that the peace she has is brought by You and it exists because she is doing Your will. You will keep her and care for her son and daughter. I pray that you may take her heart, her soul, her mind and thoughts and that You may hold them in Your precious hands. Give her comfort and peace and reign over her. Send Your mighty angels and surround her, as well as all of us. Keep us safe and protected. Cover us in the holy blood of Jesus. Thank you for her life, thank You for Your precious son. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen!"

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with Thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phillippians 4:6-7

When the prayer was done, there was not a dry eye in the room. Everyone was crying. But the tears were not of sadness but something much more. There was a blanket of peace that had been placed over all of us. The circle that was physically made by our held hands was so powerful that it drew God's angels down to us. I saw N, filled with hope and peace and inspiration. She looked at me and wouldn't let go of my hands. I told her that I loved her very much and that her life was so admirable to me. I pressed my hand over her chest. And though her body seems fragile and weak, her heart's thump was oh, so strong underneath my palm. I smiled at her and looked into her eyes. She thanked me in little words but her eyes transmitted much more. I love her. Will cherish her forever. And as we walked outside, the air was refreshing and the breeze lifted our spirits and reconfirmed that we had done the right thing. That prayer was not of my own words but of the Holy Spirit. Tears were cried by some that would never cry, words were spoken by someone that could never find the right things to say. Hearts were broken only to be mended and minds were opened only to be transported into a higher place of understanding. The seed has been planted and the doors have been opened.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved." John 3:16-17

Is it the End?

The other day I was talking to my cousin K, she mentioned to me that she had been feeling very faint lately...mind you she just had a C-Section a couple of weeks ago, BUT this is K, the ONE that NEVER stops doing stuff, she's such a busy bee, go here, go there, do this, do that, clean here, tomorrow clean there. Anyways, it was so funny because she explained to me that she had come to the point of practically preparing her hubby, Jo, for the 'worst'. She said she thought she might be having an embolism (she's in the medical field so this is why people in the medical field over diagnose themselves ALL THE TIME), we just know too much. She gave Jo a list of the meds she had recently taken and told him to wake her if she didn't wake up from a nap after an hour...he let her sleep all night.

At first, I didn't want to laugh or anything. I just let her vent and describe her concerns. Then I kindly, gently, slowly said, "It might just be anemia...you've been bleeding, and you probably need to double up on your iron."

After a LONG pause she took a deep breath in and said, "Oh, I hadn't thought about that. You're right, I'll do that."

Then we both busted out laughing. We realized that it's so ridiculous that we do this to ourselves time and time again. We over-think things and come to the worst possible conclusions. I KNOW I've done this too. Especially with my Pulmonary Hypertension. My doctor says it's pretty normal to feel flutters or sharpness in the chest area every now and then. But still, everytime I feel it, I can't help but think, "Oh my God, is this it? Am I going to die, NOW?"

I remember the episodes, they happen in slow motion. I feel a sharp pain in my chest and automatically I pause. I stop whatever I might be doing, listen and wait. I don't know, what I'm waiting for but I wait to see if it's going to get stronger or something. The faces of my kids run through my mind and I view them like a slideshow. Their laughter, their cries. I don't know if that'll be the last time I experience their hugs and warmth. I see my husband and picture him here on earth without me. I want him to be happy and I suddenly find myself asking God to take care of them.

Then a smile comes to my face, I realize that it wasn't the end. And that I'm still here. So I go on with my day. Thank you God!

Everyday I'm here, I give thanks to the One above. He gives me the opportunity to live and what a great life he's given me!

"...For to a person who is good in His sight He has given wisdom and knowledge and joy...I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one's lifetime." Ecclesiastes 2:26 and 3:12

Strengths

"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

I have always longed to know the meaning of my life. I always knew that God had something for me, a purpose of some kind. Even as a child contemplating suicide, something just told me, "What if?". I heard that still small voice whisper into my ears words of hope. I've learned so much about myself these past few months and some things are truly amazing. I was put on the doorstep of the gates of death and like an abandoned child, I felt like nothing else was lying in my future. But the gates were not opened...instead a man came to my rescue, a man by the name of Jesus. He picked me up, when my cries were unheard, He lifted me when no one came to hold me. He whispered in my ear a hymn of hope, when no one was available to sing a lullaby. Facing death brought me to really live. I know that I am here for a reason and God isn't done with my life just yet! :)

This weekend I went to a Woman's Leadership Retreat from church and heard many speakers. Every single one of them touched me in a different way. I was able to relate to each and every one of them, as they spoke about life, moms, God, leadership, drugs, abortion, marriage, teen pregnancy, just to name a few. Surrounded by ladies from all walks of life, we were all there for the same purpose. To grow, spiritually. It was not only an eye-opening reflection on myself, but also an invitation to want more for other women like me.

In preparation to this weekend retreat, we read a book called Strengths Finder by Tom Rath. I learned five of my top strengths and the top one was connectedness. It was right on. The author says, "...you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives." (pg. 73) This is absolutely true, hence my blog. I have always felt a need to tell others that there's a purpose for whatever we might be going through, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I recognize when others are feeling blue because I went through it. I see it in their eyes.

Another statement that struck me was on page 169 where he describes Woo, "In your world there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet -lots of them." When I was younger, I longed for true friendships. I didn't care if it was only one person, I just wanted to know that there was someone out there that I could be totally comfortable with and tell everything to. Someone that would cry with me and lift me up with encouragement whenever I needed it. God has brought such a smile to my face. I am excited because I see how he's brought certain people in my life that have now taken such a special role in it. So I'm giving a shout out to all my old, new and future friends! I LOVE you ALL!

Next was Responsibility...'nough said. I knew this one was one of my strengths, since like forever. No book needed to tell me that! Haha! Responsibility is described here as, "This conscientiousness, this near obsession for doing things right,... impeccable ethics...people look to you first because they know it will get done."

Strategic - " ...you sort through the clutter to find the best route...a distinct way of thinking...you see patterns where others see comlexity...you evaluate potential obstacles...you discard the paths that lead to nowhere...your intuitions are created by a brain that instinctively anticipates and projects..." This one I am really proud of. :) In the past, I thought it was wierd and almost bothersome on why I had to evaluate situations so much in my head before taking the next step. I was concerned about my over-obsessive thinking. I've even joked about how my head is a big library filled with cabinets and files and archived boxes of all my thoughts and memories. I was becoming afraid of my thoughts and wondered the purpose for my 'caring too much'. I just wanted peace. But now I see how God will use this.

And last but certainly not least was Arranger: "In your mind there is nothing special about what you are doing. You are simply trying to figure out the best way to get things done...effective flexibility...From the mundane to the complex, you are always looking for the perfect configuration...You jump into the confusion, devising new options, hunting for new paths of least resistance, and figuring out new partnerships - because, after all, there might just be a better way." Yes, there is ALWAYS a better way! I'm always trying to find out how to do things to prevent hassles later. I learn from my mistakes and figure out a better way to avoid them later. In turn, just like the above strategic way, I analyze and think about paths, routes, and dead ends.

I believe our strengths, our gifts are given to us for a reason. We've been supplied a unique personality, each one individual on its own, and each person has a special importance. We might not all think the same or have the same interests, but there is a reason. We are all bonded by the fact that we can give love in so many, many different ways.

"As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. Whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever." 1 Peter 4:10-11

Words of Oxygen by Liz Blanco

It is a forshadowing realization that this poem was written by me back in 2001...I was diagnosed with Pulmonary Hypertension on October 31st, 2008, seven years later! In 2001, I also searched for verses in the bible that would bring significance to my poem.

close your eyes
and let my words guide you
let your ears act like a suction
that sweep my words deep into your brain
and let my words linger gently in your mind
and then be taken on a journey into your blood vessels
healing and transforming
every organ they go through

let my words be like oxygen
running through your body
giving the whispers of life
with ideas to carry you through and above
new and different
obstacles and situations.
-2001


"The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him." The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, To the person who seeks Him. It is good that he waits silently For the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man that he should bear The yoke in his youth. Let him sit alone and be silent Since He has laid it on him. Let him put his mouth in the dust, Perhaps there is hope. Let him give his cheek to the smiter, Let him be filled with reproach. For the Lord will not reject forever, For if He causes grief, Then He will have compassion According to His abundant lovingkindness."

"Let us examineand probe our ways, And let us return to the LORD. We lift up our heart and hands toward God in Heaven."

"You drew near when I called on You; You said, 'Do not fear!'"

Lamentations 3:22-32, 40-41, 57

Tyrone Wells - More

Ever since I experienced Tyron Wells' performance at church over a month ago, I was blown away wheN he sang this particular song. The CD is still in my car and I play it all the time. It puts my life into perspective and I realize that God is so much "MORE". It speaks to me in so many different levels that I just had to share it with you. I hope it touches you as it has me. :)

So please click on the link below and enjoy!

"More" by Tyrone Wells:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdTyVg9njOk

On My Way to Siloam...Voy A Las Aguas de Siloe

“Is any sick among you? Let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up...” James 5:14-15

Recently I was prayed over by the elders in my church. It was awesome! A little intimidating, yet very insightful. The bible talks a lot about the wisdom of elders and I was thrilled when a friend approached me with the idea. I know that God can simply snap his fingers and heal me, but there’s a time and a place for everything. Life can’t be that easy or else what can we learn from it? I have slowly realized that there is a reason for my illness. There’s a reason for everything under heaven.

Before that evening of prayer John 9 had been brought to my attention by my father-in-law. The apostle John talks about the healing of a blind man. The first question that arose in my head when I was diagnosed with my disease was, “Why me? What have I done to deserve this?”

“As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?’” John 9:1-2

Fair enough question, if you ask me. These past few weeks I’ve come to learn that it is not that I’ve done something horrible to be stricken with this disease. Because I have done nothing. For the purpose of getting my point across I will remind you that I have never smoked, nor used cocaine or marijuana, nor drank, nor used diet pills (which are all things that precede this disease, in most cases).

“Jesus answered, ‘It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.” John 9: 3

I know that God’s name is being glorified through this disease. I know that my life will be a life spoken of. I know that soon will come the day that, not me, but my wonderful God will be talked about and glorified because of the healing and all the good that He is doing in my life. Have you ever wanted to experience something supernatural? Well, keep in touch with me! Because I am on my way to the pool of Siloam!

“…He [Jesus] spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and applied the clay to his eyes, and said to him, ‘Go, wash in the pool of Siloam’. So he went away and washed, and came back seeing.” John 9:6-7

Last Sunday as I was listening to the message at church; youth Pastor Tony Wood spoke about, yes, you guessed it, John 9 and the blind man. He mentioned something that I had not put into perspective. You see, when you think of healing, you think of being healed, not of the journey that the actual healing will take you on. We live in a society where we want everything NOW.

As he spoke about how Jesus showed this blind man compassion, he mentioned how Jesus stopped and gave attention to this man, by spitting into dirt and making this mud and actually rubbing it onto the face and eyes of the blind man. The poor blind man was a reject in society, even to his parents, probably. Nobody gave him the time of day, let alone touch him. But Jesus showed compassion with his undeniable, non-judgmental love. At that point it hit me. I realized that Jesus has already done that to me and more! I have to say, that my disease really hasn’t been that bad. I am still doing all my normal stuff. I can still walk and talk and work and laugh and go here and do that. God has provided me a job with medical benefits that pay for the expensive medication. God has provided me a wonderful husband and the support of many friends and family that truly care about me. I am not depressed and have not become handicapped. Yes, I deal with little things here and there, but that’s all they are…little things. Nothing is going to get me down. If anything, I feel more empowered and happy and have gotten the opportunity to really enjoy life. I see my kids and husband with a new love. I wear these great lenses of hope that constantly let me peak into a world that is full of optimism. I am more today than I have ever been. I love it.

“Therefore the neighbors, and those who previously saw him as a beggar, were saying, ‘Is not this the one who used to sit and beg?’ Others were saying, ‘This is he, still others were saying, ‘No, but he is like him.’ He kept saying, ‘I am the one.’ So they were saying to him, ‘How then were your eyes opened?’ He answered, ‘The man who is called Jesus made clay, and anointed my eyes, and said to me, ‘Go to Siloam and wash’; so I went away and washed, and I received sight.’” John 9: 8-11

So, thank you God for rubbing your spit and dirt unto my life, and now I will head to the pool of Siloam. Who knows how long it took the poor blind man to get there. He must of stumbled and fell a bunch of times. So if I fall and stumble it’ll be okay. I have a group of people that will guide me and make me feel better. I don’t know how long it’ll take me but I will soon wash myself in the pool of Siloam and be healed.

In order for there to be a miracle of healing there's got to be a disease first. In order for it to become clean, it's got to be dirty first.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Si alguno está enfermo, que llame a los ancianos de la iglesia, para que oren por él y en el nombre del Señor le apliquen aceite. Y cuando oréis con fe, el enfermo sanará y el Señor lo levantará…” Santiago 5:14-15


Recientemente los ancianos de mi iglesia oraron por mi. ¡Fue realmente impresionante! Un poco intimidante, pero muy profundo. La Biblia habla mucho sobre la sabiduría de ancianos, asi que me senti muy emocionada cuando una amiga se me acercó con la idea. Sé que para Dios es cosa fácil curarme, pero tambien reconozco que hay una época y un lugar para todo. ¿La vida no puede ser tan fácil o bien, qué podemos aprender de ella? Ahora entiendo que hay una razón por mi enfermedad. Hay una razón por todo bajo el cielo. Antes de esa tarde, Juan 9 llego a mi atención a traves de mi suegro. El apostol Juan habla de la sanacion de un hombre ciego. ¿La primera pregunta que se presentó en mi mente cuando me diagnosticaron con mi enfermedad fue, “Por qué yo? Qué hize para merecer esto?”


“Yendo de camino vio Jesús a un hombre que había nacido ciego. Los discípulos le preguntaron: –Maestro, ¿por qué nació ciego este hombre? ¿Por el pecado de sus padres o por su propio pecado?” Juan 9:1-2

Bastante razonable pregunta, en mi opinion. Éstas ultimas semanas he venido aprender que no es que he hecho algo horrible para ser afligido con esta enfermedad. Porque no he hecho nada. Con el fin de proporcionarle mi punto les recordaré que nunca he fumado, ni cocaína o marijuana he usado, ni bebí, ni utilicé las píldoras de la dieta (que, en la mayoría de los casos, son todas las cosas que preceden esta enfermedad).

“Jesús les contestó: –Ni por su propio pecado ni por el de sus padres, sino para que en él se demuestre el poder de Dios.” Juan 9:3

Sé que el nombre de Dios está siendo glorificado con esta enfermedad. Sé que mi vida será una vida de hablar. Sé que pronto vendrá el día de que, no yo, sino mi Dios maravilloso sera el motivo de platicas y sera glorificado debido a mi sanacion y todo lo bueno que él esté haciendo en mi vida. ¿Le tienen deseó a experimentar algo supernatural? ¡Bien, permanézcanse en contacto conmígo! ¡Porque mi curso me lleva a las aguas de Siloe!

“Dicho esto, Jesús escupió en el suelo, hizo con la saliva un poco de lodo y untó con él los ojos del ciego. Luego le dijo: –Ve a lavarte al estanque de Siloé…El ciego fue y se lavó, y al regresar ya veía.” Juan 9:6-7


El domingo pasado mientras escuchaba el mensaje en la iglesia; el pastor de los jovenes, Tony Wood, habló, sí, nada mas de que Juan 9 y del hombre ciego. Él mencionó algo que no había puesto en perspectiva. Ves, cuando piensas en la sanacion, piensas en ser sanado, no en el viaje en el cual la sanacion tomará. Vivimos en una sociedad donde deseamos todo AHORA. Mientras que él habló sobre cómo Jesús demostró compasión al hombre ciego y cómo Jesús paró y presto atención a este hombre, escupiendo en la suciedad y haciendo este lodo y frotándolo sobre la cara y los ojos del hombre ciego. El pobre hombre ceigo era un rechazo en sociedad, incluso a sus padres, probablemente. Nadie lo tomaba en cuenta, aún menos le daban un abrazo. Pero Jesús demostró la compasión con su amor imnegable, sin juzgar. Fue alli que hizo sentido. ¡Me di cuenta que Jesús ha hecho ya eso por mí y más! Admito, que mi enfermedad realmente no ha sido tan mala. Todavía estoy haciendo todo lo normal. Puedo todavía caminar y hablar y trabajar y reír e ir aquí y alla y hago eso y aquello. Dios me ha proveído un trabajo con beneficios médicos que pagan mi costosa medicación. Dios me ha proporcionado un marido maravilloso y la ayuda de muchos amigos y familia que me cuidan verdaderamente. No me deprimo y no me he discapacitado. Sí, enfrento pequeñas cosas aquí y allí, pero éso es todo lo que son… pequeñas cosas. Nada va a derrotarme. Si algo, me siento con mas fuerza y mas feliz; realmente he conseguido la oportunidad de gozar de la vida. Veo a mis hijos y marido con un nuevo amor. Uso unos anteojos de esperanza que me dejan ver constantemente a lo máximo un mundo lleno de optimismo. Soy más ahora que nunca antes. Lo amo.


“Los vecinos y los que otras veces le habían visto pedir limosna se preguntaban: –¿No es este el que se sentaba a pedir limosna? Unos decían: –Sí, es él.Y otros: –No, no es él, aunque se le parece. Pero él decía: –Sí, soy yo. Le preguntaron: –¿Y cómo es que ahora puedes ver? –Él contestó: –Ese hombre que se llama Jesús hizo lodo, me untó los ojos y me dijo: ‘Ve al estanque de Siloé y lávate.' Yo fui, me lavé y comencé a ver.” Juan 9:8-11


Así pues, gracias Dios por frotar tu escupido y lodo en mi vida, y ahora me dirigiré a las aguas de Siloé. :) Quién sabe cuánto tiempo tomó ese pobre hombre ciego para llegar. Debe haberse tropezado y caído un manojo de veces. Asi que si me caigo y me tropiezo, todo estara bien porque tengo un grupo de gente que me dirigirá y hará sentirme mejor. No sé cuánto tiempo me tomará pero pronto me lavaré en las aguas de Siloé y seré sanada.

Antes que se haga un milagro de sanidad, debe haber una enfermedad. Antes que algo sea limpiado, debe ser sucio primero.

His Comfort and Security

Sometimes I think God stays quiet with me so that I can strictly open my ears and just reflect. It’s been a few weeks since I blogged and it’s because I really didn’t have anything be put into my heart to even write about. The Lord’s stillness has reminded me of the times I rested my head on my mother’s bosom. I didn’t need to hear any speaking; I just listened to the thumping of her heart beat next to my face and to the rhythm of her breathing, this which pleased and comforted me. Sometimes my mom sang a lullaby and other times she just held me in her arms. Words were not spoken but the love she emitted was felt very graciously by my being.

“I will not leave you comfortless; I will come to you…In that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you.” John 14:18-20

I know that God is that same way with me. I have felt Him these past weeks…just enfolding me like my mother use to hold me. No words spoken, no singing…just feeling His love next to me. Feeling His embrace is enough to fill me up with confidence. Nobody can harm me, for I’m protected by my Father. Nothing can tackle me down, for I’m held up by the ever-lasting King.

“But he who listens to me shall live securely and will be at ease from the dread of evil.”

Proverbs 1:33

His silence might be interpreted by some as cold or as if He’s not taking me into account, but I know better. I know He’s there, contemplating in the beauty of His creation. It must be such a blessing and great feeling to see your children go on the right path. I hope my thoughts and actions cause a smile on His face every day. I hope He is pleased by me and by my attempts at reaching His righteousness.

“And the work of righteousness will be peace, And the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.” Isaiah 32:17

"The King is enthralled by your beauty; Honor Him, for He is your Lord." Psalm 45:11

When I look in the mirror and see the bruises that I’ve developed because of the medication I’m on, I don’t get down or envelop myself in sadness…I smile at the reflection staring back at me. I smile, not at myself or at the outfit I might be wearing. I smile at the Lord’s creation. He made me to His image. He made me beautiful in spirit and I know He is pleased with me. I smile because it brings me such joy to make Him happy. I smile at His love and at His never-ending mercy.

I have learned to take each day as a blessing. I am thanking God for every little thing He does for me, every single day.

“Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. ..Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:5-8

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pienso que a veces Dios es silencioso conmígo para que yo pueda abrir los oídos y simplemente reflejar. Han sido algunas semanas desde que escribo algo y es porque realmente no habia tenido algo puesto en mi corazón para escribir de ello. La calma del Señor me ha recordado los tiempos que reclinaba mi cabeza en el pecho de mi madre. No necesité oír una voz; Solamente escuchaba el golpeo pesadamente de su corazón al lado de mi cara y tambien escuchaba el ritmo de su respiración, la cual me contentaba y me confortaba. Mi mamá cantó a veces un arrullo y otras veces solamente me sostenia en sus brazos. Ningunas palabras fueron habladas pero el amor que ella emitió era sentido muy graciosamente por mi ser.

“No voy a dejarlos abandonados: volveré para estar con vosotros… vosotros me veréis, y viviréis porque yo vivo. En aquel día os daréis cuenta de que yo estoy en mi Padre, y que vosotros estáis en mí y yo en vosotros.” Juan 14:18-20

Sé que mi Dios es de esa misma manera conmígo. Lo he sentido envolverme asi estas últimas semanas… como me sostenia mi madre. Ningunas palabras habladas, ningúnas canciones cantadas… simplemente el sentir Su amor al lado de mí. El sentir Su abrazo es bastante para llenarme de confianza. Nadie puede dañarme, porque mi padre me proteje. Nada puede atacarme, porque El Rey eterno me soporta.

“Pero el que me escuche vivirá confiadamente, estará tranquilo, sin temor del mal”. Proverbios 1:33

Su silencio puede ser interpretado por algunos como frío o como si él no me esté tomando en consideración, pero yo conozco la verdad. Sé que él está allí, comtemplando en la belleza de su creación. Debe ser una gran bendición y gran sensación ver a sus hijos caminar en una trayectoria derecha. Espero que mis pensamientos y acciones causen una sonrisa en Su cara cada dia. Espero que él se satisfeche en mí y en mis tentativas de alcanzar su rectitud.

“El efecto de la justicia será la paz y la labor de la justicia, reposo y seguridad para siempre. Y mi pueblo habitará en morada de paz, en habitaciones seguras y en lugares de reposo”. Isaias 32:17-18


“Pues el rey desea tu belleza; El es tu Señor, y debes obedecerle”. Salmo 45:11

Cuando miro en el espejo y veo los moretones que he desarrollado debido a la medicación que estoy tomando, no me decaigo y no me envuelvo en tristeza… sonrío a la reflexión que me mira fijamente. Sonrío, no a mi misma o en el traje que pueda tener puesto. Sonrío por la creación del Señor. Él me hizo a Su imagen. Él me hizo hermosa en espiritu y sé que él está satisfecho conmígo. Sonrío porque me llena de tanta alegría hacerlo feliz. Sonrío por Su amor y por su interminable misericordia. He aprendido a tomar cada día como una bendición. Estoy agradecida con Dios por cada pequeña cosa que él hace por mí, cada día.

“Bienaventurados los mansos, porque recibirán la tierra por heredad. Bienaventurados los que tienen hambre y sed de justicia, porque serán saciados. Bienaventurados los misericordiosos, porque alcanzarán misericordia. Bienaventurados los de limpio corazón, porque verán a Dios.” Mateo 5:5-8

Los Pensamientos Pronosticados de Dios

"Bendeciré al Señor con toda mi alma; bendeciré con todo mi ser su santo nombre. Bendeciré al Señor con toda mi alma; no olvidaré ninguno de sus beneficios. Él es quien perdona todas mis maldades, quien sana todas mis enfermedades, quien libra mi vida del sepulcro, quien me colma de amor y ternura, quien me satisface con todo lo mejor y me rejuvenece como un águila." Salmo 103:1-5

El otro día, de todos los días para olvidarme de mi cartel de desventaja para mi coche, conduje el vehiculo rentado de mi marido al trabajo. Para evitar una caminata larga y agutadora, debido a mi Hipertensión Pulmonaria, me estacione en un área del hospital en donde no deben los empleados parquear. A mi sorpresa, cuando salí de mi coche y procedí a caminar a la entrada, me encontre con el guarda de seguridad en su SegWay. ¡Arrrr!!! Sentía que mi sangre empezaba a hervir con su mirada como cuando un padre encuentra a su nina hacienda algo que no debe. Al punto de alegar clemencia al malo y granduoso policia, me sentí como una pequeña nina denuevo. Después de darme cuenta que incluso no tenía el papel del DMV para comprobar mi enfermedad, alegue mi defensa y le explique mis razones al policia de porque no me estacione en el lugar indicado para los empleados que esta en ese lugar mas alla a la distancia, en ese mundo tan lejano para mi. Él apuntó hacia la dirección donde él permitiría que me parqueara por el resto del día. Era tres carriles más lejos de donde me habia comfortablemente y tan graciosamente, estacionado mi pequeno carrito de renta. Entre de nuevo a mi carrito rentado y conduje al punto asignado. ¡No podía creer que cuando me sente en el asiento del conductor, casi comencé a llorar! Mi garganta desarrolló un nudo grande y sentí otra vez un codazo de parte de la lastima en mi hombro. Estaba allí para recordarme que estoy enferma y que tengo una desventaja.

"Insisten en que ellos son justos, en que tienen limpias las manos."
Job 17:9

Pero tan pronto cuando estos pensamientos externos malignos comenzaron a abrir rápidamente las puertas bloqueadas de la depresión, sentí una voz dentro de mi cabeza. Él dijo, “Si quiera mira al otro lado brillante, por lo menos él no te hizo estacionarte en la porción reservada para el empleado a lo largo de una milla.” Eso fue todo, fue todo lo que tomó para que florezca una sonrisa en mi cara. Mire al espejo retrovisor y heché una ojeada a mis ojos, en ellos una mirada llena de amor y paz segura y guardada hacia mí. Reprendi a la lastima y cerré la puerta de la depresión y casi fue como hubiese visto seres angelicales colocandose como guardas para protejerme encontra de ataques futuros. Mi caminata no fue dificil y llegue justo a tiempo al tercer piso en la sala de partos para empezar me turno de trabajo.

Mientras que he estado en esta jornada con la Hipertensión Pulmonaria, he aprendido a disfrutar a lo maximo cada situación. Donde en el pasado, puede ser que me haya ahogado en la lastima, ahora me encuentro más espiritual y llena de alegría. Soy agradecida por cada pequeño detalle pronosticado de Dios en el cual El piense en mí para mis caminos diarios de la vida. No hay un día que no veo Su mano trabajando en mi vida. Me ha llenado de una paz indefinible que solamente la alegría puede describir. Dulce son las palabras de mis amigas que me animan y perfumadas son las amistades que han encantado mi vida. Creo de verdad que todos aquellos a quien Dios pone en mi vida están alli por una razón y hay un propósito por cada encuentro. Dios es un dios de detalles minutos y El comprende nuestros corazones mejor que lo hacemos nosotros. Nuestra diminutiva comprensión nunca alcanzará Su sabiduría interminable pero mientras quede orientada nuestra confianza en ÉL, qué puede ir mal en nuestras vidas? Deseo que cada uno de ustedes sepan que me importan mucho. Si consideran y leen de mis palabras, ustedes saben quiénes son, yo quisiera que supieran que son importantes en mi vida. Quisiera que supieran que cuando le miro, le miro con el amor de Dios. Y a los que leen esto, confía en que Dios está allí para ti también.

Antes sufria por los amigos que no tenía. En mi soledad me sentía que no tenía a nadien en quien confiar. Reservé a mi ser verdadero para las que pasaban y aguantaban mi larga prueba de la amistad verdadera…(No eran muchas las que pasaron mi prueba). Pero ahora sé que hay mucha gente que se siente de la misma manera que yo me sentia. Esto es lo que decidí hacer: Espere en el Señor y decidi ser una persona verdadera a todos. Reservé nada a todos y provei mucho a cualquiera y termine, por encima de todo, haciendo muchas amistades verdaderas.

"Siempre os he enseñado que así se debe trabajar y ayudar a los que se encuentran en necesidad, recordando aquellas palabras del Señor Jesús: ‘Hay más felicidad en dar que en recibir." Acts 20:35

God's Forcasted Thoughts

"Bless the Lord, O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the Lord,O my soul, And forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle."
Psalm 103:1-5

The other day, of all days to forget my handi-cap placard for my car, I drove my husband’s rental to work. In order to avoid a long grueling walk, because of my Pulmonary Hypertension, I parked in an area of the hospital where employees are not supposed to park. To my surprise, as I got out of my car and proceeded to walk to the entrance, I was greeted by our Security Guard on his SegWay. Arrrr!!! I felt my blood start boiling as he looked at me like a father looks at his child when he finds her doing something she’s not supposed to. I felt like a little girl, about to plead her case in front of the big mean SegWay Police Man. After realizing that I didn’t even have the DMV paper for the placard on me, I told the security guard my reasons for not parking at the far, far neverland employee parking lot. He pointed toward a spot where he would allow me to park for the day. It was about three lanes farther than where I had comfortably and oh, so graciously, parked my little rental. I then got back into the rental and drove to the allotted spot. I couldn’t believe that as I was sitting in the drivers’ seat, I almost started crying! My throat developed a big knot and I felt self-pity nudge on my shoulder again. It was there to remind me that I am sick and that I have a handi-cap.

"Nevertheless the righteous will hold to his way, And he who has clean hands will grow stronger and stronger." Job 17:9

But just as soon as these devious external thoughts began to quickly open the gated doors of depression, I felt a voice in my head. It said, “Look at the bright side, at least he didn’t make you park in the reserved employee parking lot a mile away.” That’s it, that’s all it took for there to blossom a smile on my face. I looked in the rear-view mirror and took a look at my eyes, in them a love and secure guarded peace looked back at me. I rebuked self-pity and closed the door on depression and almost saw the angelic beings stand guard for future attacks. My walk was not tough and I made it to the Labor and Delivery floor right on time to clock in.

As I’ve been on this journey with Pulmonary Hypertension, I’ve learned to make the most out of every situation. Where in the past, I might have drowned in self-pity, now I find myself more spirited and full of joy. I am thankful for every little forecasted detail that God thinks of for me in my daily walks in life. Not a day goes by that I don’t see His hand at work in my life. It has filled me with an indefinable peace that only joy can describe. Sweet are the words of my encouraging friends and perfumed are the friendships that have charmed my life. I truly believe that everyone that God places on my path is for a reason and there’s a purpose to every encounter. God is a God of minutiae details and He comprehends our hearts better than we do. Our diminutive understanding will never reach His interminable wisdom but as long as our trust remains on HIM, what can go wrong? I want to let everyone know that you matter to me. If you’re taking into account and reading my words, you know who you are, I want you to know that you’re important in my life. I want you to know that when I look at you, I look at you with God’s love. And to all you who read this, trust that God is there for you too.

"But let all who take refuge in You be glad, Let them ever sing for joy; And may You shelter them, That those who love Your name may exult in You. For it is You who blesses the righteous man, O Lord, You surround him with favor as with a shield." Psalm 5:11-12

I use to suffer for the lack of friends that I had. In my loneliness, I felt that I had no one to trust. I reserved my true self for those that passed my long and enduring test of true friendship…There weren’t many that passed. But now I know that there are many people out there that feel the same way as I did. This is what I decided to do: Wait upon the Lord and be a true person to everyone. I reserved nothing to everyone but provided much to anyone and ended up making many real friendships.

"In everything I showed you that by working hard in this manner you must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'" Acts 20:35

Lemonade of Hope

"In my distress I called upon the Lord, Yes, I cried to my God; And from His temple He heard my voice, And my cry for help came into His ears.” 2 Samuel 22:7

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade…Right? I recently had to make a decision on my studies. I feel so saddened and ask myself, “Why do I have this debilitating disease?” My dream has always been to become a nurse.

I’ve been working as a Surgical Tech/Assistant for ten years and thus have been exposed to the heartwarming, respectable working people of the healthcare system do. Working in the Labor and Delivery floor, I’ve met so many strong nurses, doctors, midwives, and anesthesia providers that are all willing to give so much of themselves for the health of others. I’ve seen how nurses are able to look into the eyes of perfect strangers and tend to them as if the patient is their own daughter. The love and passion that nurses give is absolutely outstanding and often leaves me awe struck. I’ve worked alongside these brilliant nurses for many years and found myself believing that I could provide the same or, in some cases, exceed the care given.

I have been working very hard, juggling work, a toddler, a baby, a new business, marriage, and all the home tasks, and now even a newly diagnosed disease, that I have found myself drowning. So many questions arise in my infinite self-pity that I’m almost becoming bored with myself. Hmm, self-pity. How does that help?

“…the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groaning too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” Romans 8:26-27

After many many nights of prayer and thought, I’m overwhelmed in confusion and find that I need to give myself a break. Then I think, “More wasted time? You could’ve been a nurse by now if you hadn’t wasted so much time”. Pulmonary Hypertension has landed on the strip of my mind, blocking all other roads that I thought, at one time, I had. Now, things have changed for me. I do not have those backup roads to take anymore. I am forced to look at things in black and white.

Maybe nursing school is not for me anymore, I do not have the vigor I use to boast. In order to actually take care of sick patients, I am obliged to do all I can. Pulmonary Hypertension has exhausted my past energetic personality. This post almost feels like I’m apologizing to Nursing School or like I’m giving myself excuses. My heart is truly broken. I have never been a quitter. Oh Lord, What am I to do now?

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phillippians 4:4-7

I feel that I need to relieve my mind, and my heart, of unnecessary stresses. And although I am very disappointed, I can’t escape the feeling of excitement. The practical side of me has to stand aside and the kid in me just has to hold her Father’s hand and follow. It’s almost like at least now I know, you know? I am bewildered at the thought of the excitement growing within me because it’s all unknown territory that I’m blindly headed to. I have always been a planner. And now a little part of me is actually excited to not know. Is that possible? If you’ve read my past posts you know that I’m a little OCD. Okay, maybe not just a little…okay, a lot. I have to have things under control and neatly organized in the never-ending file cabinet of my mind. “There’s a place for everything and everything in its place”, is always my honorable motto! But now that I don’t know where life is taking me, I am secretly happy to plainly, just let go. I candidly trust in the Lord, so I constantly remind myself that He wouldn’t lead me through the incorrect path of life. So, what can go wrong? If I’ve got the ruler of the universe and all things, on my side, what can go wrong?

“For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.” Romans 8:24-25

When I started writing this post, I know I began with a depressed and desperate approach at conveying my feelings, but as I continued to write I found a little spark in the maze of my thoughts. Something within me lighted up and I found myself running toward it. Why would I want to inundate myself in the astray of self-pity? I don’t care how small that diminutive spark is, but I’m running for it. I will reach my arms toward it and never let go. It’s that sense of hope that engulfs me to write these foreign inspirational thoughts.

So let’s make some lemonade!

“And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You.”

Psalm 39:7

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Limonada de Esperanza

“En mi angustia llame al Senor, pedi ayuda a mi Dios y El me escucho desde su templo.” 2 Samuel 22:7

¿Cuándo la vida te da limones, haz limonada…no? Tuve que tomar recientemente una decisión sobre mis estudios. Me siento entristecída y me pregunto, “Porqué tengo esta enfermedad debilitante?”

Mi sueño siempre ha sido convertirme en una enfermera. He estado trabajando como una Ayudante Quirúrgica por diez años y así me he expuesto a una gente de trabajo conmovedora, respetable del sistema medicinal. Trabajando en el piso de maternidad, he conocido a mucha/os enfermeras, doctores, parteras, y provedores de la anestesia que estan dispuestos a dar tanto de sí mismos para la salud de otros. He visto cómo las enfermeras pueden mirar en los ojos de extranjeros perfectos y tender a ellos como si el paciente sea su propia hija. El amor y la pasión que dan es absolutamente excepcional y a menudo me deja llena de admiracion. He trabajado junto a estas enfermeras brillantes por muchos años y he llegado a creer que yo podría proporcionar igual o, en algunos casos, exceder el cuidado dado.

He estado trabajando arduosamente como un malabarista; poseo un niño, una bebé, un nuevo negocio, mi matrimonio, un trabajo, y todas las tareas caseras, y resientemente diagnosticada con una nueva enfermedad, que me encontre ahogandome. Muchas preguntas se presentan en mi infinita lastima que casi me estoy aburriendo yo misma. Mmm, lastima por si misma. ¿En que manera ayuda la lastima?

“...el Espíritu nos ayuda en nuestra debilidad. Porque no sabemos orar como es debido, pero el Espíritu mismo ruega a Dios por nosotros con gemidos que no pueden expresarse con palabras. Y Dios, que examina los corazones, sabe qué quiere decir el Espíritu, porque el Espíritu ruega conforme a la voluntad de Dios por los del pueblo santo.” Romans 8:26-27

Después de muchas muchas noches de oracion y del pensamiento, me abruman en la confusión y me doy cuenta que necesito un cambio. ¿Entonces pienso, “Más tiempo perdido? Ya hubiera sido una enfermera si no había perdido tanto tiempo”. La Hipertensión Pulmonaria ha aterrizado en la tira de mi mente, bloqueando el resto de los caminos que pensé, contemporáneamente, que tenía. Ahora, las cosas han cambiado para mí. No tengo esos caminos de reserva para tomar más. Me fuerzan en mirar las cosas en blanco y negro. Quizá la Escuela de Enfermeria ya no es para mí, yo no poseo jactanciosamente el vigor de antes. Para realmente tomar el cuidado de pacientes enfermos, soy obligada a hacer todo lo que pueda. La Hipertensión Pulmonaria ha agotado mi personalidad enérgetica. Este mensaje casi se siente como si estuviese disculpandome con La Escuela de Enfermeria o como si estuviese dando excusas. Mi corazón está verdaderamente roto. Nunca me he dado por vencida tan facilmente. ¿Señor, que hare ahora?

“Así Dios os dará su paz, que es más grande que todo cuanto el hombre puede comprender; y esa paz guardará vuestro corazón y vuestros pensamientos, porque estáis unidos a Cristo Jesús.” Filipenses 4:4-7

Siento que necesito aliviar mi mente, y mi corazón, de tensiones innecesarias. Y aunque estoy muy decepcionada, no puedo escapar la sensación del entusiasmo. El lado práctico de mí tiene que hacerse a un lado y la nina en mí debe tomar la mano de su padre y seguir. ¿Sabes? Por lo menos ahora mí ser sabe. Me desconciertan los pensamientos y el entusiasmo que crece dentro de mí porque es territorio desconocido para mi en el cual me dirijo ocultamente. He sido siempre una planificadora. Y ahora una pequeña parte de mí se excita por el simple hecho de no saber. ¿Es eso posible? Si han leído mis últimos mensajes saben que sufro un poco del trastorno de ser obsesiva-compulsiva. Bueno, quizá no un poco… bueno, mucho. Tengo que tener cosas bajo control y organizadas cuidadosamente en el gabinete interminable del archivo de mi mente. “¡Hay un lugar para todo y todo en su lugar”, siempre ha sido mi lema honorable! Pero ahora que no sé adónde la vida me está llevando, soy secretamente feliz de simplemente dejarme ir. Sinceramente confío en en el Señor, así que me recuerdo constantemente que El no me conduciría al camino incorrecto de la vida. ¿Así pues, qué puede ir mal? ¿Si tengo al Rey del universo y todas cosas, en mi lado, qué puede ir mal?

“Y en esa esperanza hemos sido salvados. Ahora bien, si lo que se espera está ya a la vista, entonces no es esperanza, porque ¿a qué esperar lo que ya se está viendo? Pero si lo que esperamos es algo que aún no vemos, con constancia hemos de esperarlo.” Romanos 8:24-25

Cuando comencé a escribir este mensaje, sé que comencé con un deprimido y desesperado intento a comunicar mis sentimientos, pero en lo continué escribiendo encontré una pequena chispa en el laberinto de mis pensamientos. Algo dentro de mí se encendió y me encontre corriendo hacia él. ¿Por qué desearía inundarme en el extraviado de la lastima? No me importa que tan pequeño sea la chispa diminuta, corro hacia ella. Extenderé mis brazos hacia él y nunca lo dejare ir. Es ese sentido de la esperanza que me engulle para escribir estos pensamientos extranjeros de inspiracion.

¡Asi que, vamos hacer un poco de limonada!

“Y así, Señor, ¿qué puedo ya esperar? ¡Mi esperanza está en ti!” Salmo 39:7

Respecting Your Spouse

The other night I read one of my friend’s blog posts to Hector out loud. A topic she mentioned in it was about respecting your husband. I couldn’t believe what a slap in the face it turned out to be. As I read it to Hector and then took a quick glance at his face I suddenly realized that, I, little ‘ole me, was under-appreciating my own husband. Mind you, I had read this exact post before without any revelation whatsoever but what made a difference this time was seeing Hector’s face as I read it. His face quiet and sympathetic. His eyes a gaze at the floor. His lips closed in reserve. His brows lifted in thought. I understood that as I continued reading he was finding himself relating to my friend’s husband as well. Suddenly the light bulb went on over my head and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

"House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD." Proverbs 19:14

He’s done so much for me over the past 15 years that we’ve been a couple. It’s been so long that I just tend to feel that he should know how much I love him and appreciate him. But does he really? We’ve been married for almost nine years and living together has really tried our hearts and patience. At first the days passed, then the months, now the years have passed so quickly. And maybe if I stop to listen to him I can actually hear a faint cry for help. In my eyes, it’s obvious how much I love him but I’ve realized that in his eyes things might seem a little different.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word...So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself..." Ephesians 5:25-28


He does so much for me. He knows that with my disease I quickly lose my breath by hauling the heavy vacuum back and forth, so he vacuums for me. He knows that doing the laundry is exhausting for me, so he does the laundry. He knows that going up the stairs while carrying our little 21 pound baby takes my breath away, so he does that for me, sometimes several times in one day. He carries the backpack and Lisamarie to and from our car at the parking lots wherever we might go. He picks up everything off the floor even if it’s right by my feet, just so I don’t bend over. After work he’ll stop by the grocery store and pick up whatever we might need, cook dinner, then finish picking up all the toys in the living room and shower sometimes at 11 o’ clock at night. I can’t believe how much he does for me. How much he does for us, his family. Yeah, sometimes he complains and other times he says nothing. His days are so busy and filled with problems and responsibilities and still he admits that all he wants is to be at home with us, pesky brats.

He’s my husband. The one that showed me what True love was all about. The one that stood out from all the rest in High School. The one that spoke words of wisdom, when everyone else just wanted to go drinking and clubbing. The one that valued me even more so than my first hero, my dad. Hector, has always been the voice of inspiration and good judgment. The one that constantly makes me understand that God sees me as a precious treasure. He is my love and I his. Oh Lord, I give him to You, take care of him and bless him mightily.

"Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the LORD. Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them." Colossians 3:18-19

"However, in the LORD, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as the woman originates from the man, so also the man has his birth through the woman; and all things originate from God." 1 Corinthians 11:11-12

Thanks Lorayne for the sincerity and humility you provide in your blogposts!
http://www.recoveringbrat.blogspot.com (Lorayne Nazur’s blog)

Critical Judgments

I heard a story the other day that made me ponder on our ability to set premature judgments on people. The story consisted of a family whom invited a prostitute into their home, willingly. Actually, the prostitute had been approached via the internet by an ordinary male. She thought she was there for ‘work’. When she arrived and was greeted at the door by a wife and her husband she didn’t know what to think. At first, when I heard this first part of the story, I didn’t know what to think either…The couple told the girl they were paying for her time to listen, nothing else. They proceeded to share their life story and talk to her about God and how He didn’t want her to persist on functioning this way as a prostitute selling her body to make ends meet. The girl’s first reaction was to leave and not be preached at, but she stayed and listened to their attempts at showing her the love of Christ.

At first, I thought, “This kind of a person can bring a lot of spiritual baggage and even be life threatening to my family. What if her ‘pimp’ decides he’s not too happy with our acquaintance and decides to do us harm? So many things can go wrong –real quick!”

“Do not be excessively righteous and do not be overly wise. Why should you ruin yourself?" Ecclesiastes 7:16

But then I thought about the girl. Who is she? Where does she come from? Does she even know she’s worth so much more? Does she have children waiting for her at home? Maybe she doesn’t want to settle for a regular occupation because the money’s not as good, or maybe she doesn’t even take home that much money because her pimp seizes all her earnings. Does she comprise any diseases? Does she even have a place to stay? What kind of people is she constantly being surrounded by?

This couple gave her an opportunity of adjustment. Whether she took it or not, she heard it and discovered there were many alternatives for her future.

“Indeed there is not a righteous man on earth who continually does good and who never sins. Also, do not take seriously all words which are spoken, so that you will not hear your servant cursing you. For you also have realized that you likewise have many times cursed others.” Ecclesiastes 7:20-22

How many times have we misjudged someone? They say first impressions are never forgotten. Yet on the contrary, people also say to never judge a book by its cover. Both these aphorisms are very popular. Which do you actually adhere to? We want to be that person that doesn’t criticize anyone, but are we? We say one thing here…and do another there. This is when I often ask myself: What Would Jesus Do?

I believe that people need a second chance, and a third and a fourth. The first impression is so misguided and false. We need to look beyond the person’s first impression and get into their heart and soul. See beyond those eyes of deception and climb over the walls of rejection. Some people have built a great barrier around them and won’t let just anyone in. Barriers need to be brought down. Arms need to be spread. Eyes need to be opened. Minds need to be humbled and hearts healed. Finding yourself in a position of sin, can happen to anyone and does. One sin is the same as another, sin is sin.

“Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.” Romans 12:16

We judge so quickly those that simply need a hug and embrace. You criticize a person on the street for wearing shabby clothes yet it doesn’t cross your mind that that person might have a disease that takes hold of their entire paycheck for medications. Who cares about style when there’s kids going hungry? Sure you give a few bucks to the homeless but what do you do for that family who’s in need of groceries? We criticize their misfortunes and use their perils to make our lofty selves more sanctimonious. Our egos shine through yet our humility takes the back burner. We’ve convinced ourselves that we’re good people and yet our irresponsible actions continue.

By the way, that prostitute?…she was saved from the chains of immorality and sin. She finally bloomed into the rose God had intended her to be. All because a strange couple saw a light in her eyes when others only mocked and threw stones at her.

“Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?...But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground…He straightened up, and said to them, ‘He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.’” John 8:7