I did it! During this time last year I made myself a resolution for 2009. Many might think it's a farely easy new year's resolution but I challenge you to live it. After being diagnosed with a deadly disease I resoluted to living my life to the fullest. And although I didn't jump out of an airplane or travel to Europe, the one thing I did do was make every single moment as meaningful as I could live it. I was there, present in the moments. Every tear cried, every smile to a random stranger, every word spoken, every laugh laughed with friends, every morning while eating breakfast with the kids...was meaningful.
I can't tell you what a year it's been. What a blessing it is to live like this. No more worrying about the coming years, or planning for this or that. I lived in the present. I hugged my kids and smelled their bodies next to mine. I lived like I was dying. I took in every single blessing and enjoyed it. When the sun rose, I smiled. And when the moon came up to greet the night sky, I smiled at the day I had had. I tucked in my little ones to bed and said many prayers with them. I kissed their foreheads with love and proclaimed many blessings to their lives, knowing fully that any day could be my last. I kissed my husband passionately and I smiled at his wonderful character. I lifted him up with laughter and comforted him with a soft touch of tenderness.
Friends and family have come forward and expressed such love to me that is trully indescribable. God has brought people in my life that have been like angels to me. During a time of much fear and uncertainty, the one thing that I did have to hold on to was my God. He showed me in so many ways this past year that He is here with me. So many confirmations have come to my life that basically kept me going and kept me smiling.
My doctor asked me if I suffered from depression after my diagnosis and my answer was a smile. Because at that moment I saw the many faces of loved ones that keep me going. I smiled because at that moment I saw the embrace that God has given me. No depression for me. Just love and hope.
So this 2010, I will continue my year of meaningful times. And even though I might just be doing ordinary things...every single moment counts in my life. Every single moment is important in my life and has been registered in the memory cabinet of my brain's library.
"The LORD knows the days of the upright, And their inheritance shall be forever." Psalm 37:18