Monday, October 12, 2009

Living the Dash

Recently I read a book that challenged me to think about what I'd do if I only had one month to live. Honestly, the book was very insightful and for many probably very thought-provoking. At the end of my read I couldn't help but feel like I really didn't need to read a book to find out what I need to do with my life if I found out I was going to die soon. Everything in the book, I'm already doing. Since being diagnosed with Pulmonary Hypertension, I've completely changed my way of living. I don't want to waste any more time. I want to live like I'm dying. Plain and simple. And like the book mentions, I'm living the dash. The dash that's between the two years of my life...1978 - ?.

I'm enjoying the little things. I'm seeing things from a different perspective. I'm actually living a very fulfilling life. The 'someday syndrome' like the books talks about is very present in my life, because I'm trying VERY hard NOT to say 'someday'. I'm trying to do everything I want to do and make my life as meaningful as possible. There are many that I love, so I'm loving them passionately. There are many dreams I've had, so I'm thinking on how I can make them come true. Frankly, we don't know how much time we have on this earth. YOu never know when your day will come. I've started a journal to my kids, I've began to make albums with all our pictures. I'm getting to know my family better and say things I normally wouldn't have. I'm speaking more boldly, I'm living a selfless life. I'm putting myself in others' shoes. I'm making eye contact with strangers. I'm speaking words of wisdom. I'm reading bedtime stories to my kids at night. I'm telling people how much they mean to me. I'm saying sorry. And although I probably won't die a martyr's death like so many hence past. I want to leave a I'm living. I'm really living.

"Show me, Oh Lord, my life's end and the number of my days; Let me know how fleeting is my life." Psalm 39:4

"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Living a Sacrifice

Father, may my flesh and bones become a living sacrifice for you.
May I be able to see only what you want me to view.
May I be able to speak only what you want me to say
and make Your priorities my goals of everyday.

Father, may Your glorious feet be the ones walking for me
through a rough and fogged up path so that I may be able to see.
May Your heart be the one giving my body fruit
the fruit that it needs to go on and follow your route.

Treat me like a puppeteer treats his dolls,
giving them life never letting them fall.
Using them to entertain,
a world with nothing to lose and everything to gain.

-Liz Blanco, 1999

The Happiest Place on Earth

The Happiest Place on Earth

Peaceful Hawaii

Peaceful Hawaii